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Make Valentine’s Day Last All Year

Several years ago, a therapist and researcher named John Gottman released the results of his 20-year study of married couples.  One of his findings was that for couples to feel happy and satisfied with their marriage, there has to be a 5 to 1 ratio of positive interactions between the couple.


Great gifts on Valentine’s Day, birthdays, anniversaries, Mother & Father’s Day, and religious holidays are simply not enough.
On a daily basis….


Tell your partner you love him/her at least twice a day.


Greet your partner warmly when either of you returns home.

(Sometimes even before you greet the children or the pets!)


Be at least as physically affectionate to your partner as you are to your children or your pets.  (Who do you want staying around the longest?)


Smile when your eyes meet.


Give each other one 30 second full body hug daily.


Tell your partner at least one thing you appreciate about him/her.


Spend at least 30 minutes a day talking to each other.  This can be broken up into 15 minutes here and 15 minutes there and should not be just about problems.  Good things that happened during the day, hopes and dreams for the future, etc. are good topics.


Give one romantic kiss to your partner, lasting at least 10 seconds.


On a weekly basis:


Go on a date alone

(Dates can be hikes, dinner out, a picnic, playing your favorite sport together….)


Spend romantic, physically close time together in your     bedroom.  This can include sexual intimacy, but does not have to.


Make plans for the coming week to make sure that the two of you are not so over-scheduled that you pass like ships in the night.


At least 4 times a year:


Get away for a romantic weekend alone.


Remember:  The best gift you can give your children is the example of what to do to have a good romantic relationship.  It is much more important than attending every soccer game.


Recommended Reading
How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It,

by Patricia Love, Ed.D, and Steven Stosny, Ph.D.–This is my new Bible!!!


Getting the Love You Want,

by Harville Hendricks, Ph.D.


The Truth about Love,

by Patricia Love, Ed.D.





Individuals of all cultural backgrounds / sexual orientations welcome.


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"A ship in harbor is safe — but that is not what ships are built for."

-J.A. Shedd